There's No Place Like Home

When we lived interstate, almost every school holidays was spent visiting 'home'. Home has and always will be the farm where Mum and Dad live. They have been there for almost 43 years now and everything about there holds so many memories. Now we live locally and with three almost all teenage children, it has actually become hard to visit as weekends are so busy. So now we have two weeks of school holidays. We are heading back to Adelaide this weekend, so between dental visits and dog vaccinations today was the day to go 'home'.

I love being in the comforts of where I grew up. I love the familiarity of it all. I love Mum's cooking. I love the farm fresh air. I love the freedom of being outdoors. I love the lifestyle it offers my children. But as I get older I am also beginning to see it on a more nostalgic light. I wonder how much longer it will be before this situation has to change, before Mum and Dad decide they've had enough. This farm and way of life is the core of my being. So I'm trying to soak it up.

The kids ride their motorbikes, collect eggs, explore, help with farm jobs and just relish the space.

I have lived away from the farm for 23 years now, but I'm still a country girl at heart. I may have lived in large towns or cities since but you know what they say- you can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl.

After the week that's been, I grateful to be celebrating Mr B's 16th birthday today. Whilst he may have become a mono syllabic teenager who has to be encouraged to speak in sentences that contain more than a grunt and at least a subject and predicate, it really is a blessing to have him around. I am grateful he has caused us no trouble, I am grateful that he has adjusted to the constantly new situations around him well and I am grateful for the person he is becoming.

So what do you do on your 16th birthday? You head off to the RTA to get your Learner's permit of course! He managed to pass his exams and he drove home with the Major with a grin from ear to ear. Completely different story later, however, when we all went out together. The Major in front again instructing with myself in the passenger seat behind Mr B. I honestly thought I was going to have a panic attack. He's had a beginners permit for all of like 10 mins and we are driving through relatively busy town traffic. Anything over 20kms an hour was way too fast for my liking, trying to turn on the outside lane of a roundabout as a semi trailer is going through almost caused a heart attack and changing lanes way too quickly had me planning my obituary. The Major assured me that if he can teach students to fly, then he could teach Mr B to drive successfully. I just didn't feel so sure as he proceeded to read a text message. Keep your eyes on the student not the phone!!!! It's okay he says- no it's not I say- be quite yells Mr B- don't yell Mr B. concentrate on the road- you're distracting me Mum- don't answer me back- SLOW DOWN!!!

Okay, so I may not have coped well at all, my heart was racing and I could barely breathe. It was agreed that Mr B's driving lessons would be best done without me in the car. Just he and his dad. Maybe after he's had more experience I'll be able to get back in. He has to log 120 hrs. It's going to be a long journey...

Wake Up Call

So, while I am having a few melodramatic moments about my children growing up and myself getting older, there is nothing like reality to bring you back to earth with a thud. Sad news, tragic news. Suddenly everything I was humphing about seems trivial. A friend whose son died 2 1/2 yrs ago aged nearly 10, has just been diagnosed with the same condition and needs a transplant. She's just turned 40. Suddenly being 41 and relatively healthy is a great option for me. A cousins whose three daughters were involved in a tragic accident- one deceased, one critical and one suffering from an unbearable burden of guilt. Another unrelated girl was killed as well. Wouldn't I rather celebrate the blessing of another year of life a birthday brings than this?
I'm sorry that I need someone's else grief to snap me out of my self imposed stupor. It just doesn't seem right.