Memories

Here's the story, of a lovely lady, Who was bringing up three very lovely girls...... oops, wrong story!

Let's start again.

Here's the story, of a lady, who is bringing up three very lovely children, works, and no longer has enough time to do all the things she'd really like to be doing.

Just a typical Mum story really.

Once I had so much time to indulge in quilting, sewing, stitching and other crafty activities. But those days seem like a very distant memory now. However, I remain optimistic that I may again find a spare minute to indulge and keep adding new projects to my sewing table. Hence the reason it looks like this:

Hmmm, that's just the table. There's also under the table. And in the cupboard in the spare room. And on the shelf in my wardrobe. And there may or may not be a bag of fabric in the garage. It's out of control. There may or may not be a bag under the table with three half made skirts it that have been that way for 3 years. Or is it 4? There may or may not be at least 6 half done quilts that are patiently awaiting completion, one of them for maybe 10 years.

A very sad state of affairs.

So, I am determined to start finishing things. Now that I don't have much time. Actually, this has been my resolution for about 3 years now, but this time it's different. Not sure how, but it just is.

First on the list- a memory quilt. I had a bag of clothes that belonged to my friend's son who died 3 years ago. He was almost 10. I have had the clothes for about a year and I needed to get the quilt done. I selected the most suitable shirts, decided on a simple design and then procrastinated and procrastinated and procrastinated. I thought about it, googled other memory quilts, thought about it some more. Making that first cut was hard. These were his shirts and I had to get it right. In the end I had to make myself do it and just get on with it.

Simple squares that highlighted the shirts which held the memories. A school shirt, pyjamas, shirts from travels.

Before he died, the starlight foundation made over his bedroom and I used the doona fabric from that makeover as the backing fabric. A pocket from the doona was also sewn onto the back which houses his 'blankie'.

A last minute decision was made to drive to Toowoomba to deliver the quilt last weekend. It seemed like such special cargo and it was quite a relief to hand it over as I felt it had taken me way too long to finish it.

Toowoomba was at it's beautiful best. I do love this city. Not just the aesthetics of it, but the people as well. They are my memories.

The jacaranda in bloom

Church

One of many previous homes

The school all 3 of the kids began their schooling at

But life moves on I guess.

Christmas Denial

Apparently Christmas is in 43 sleeps. I'm in denial. But the evidence seems to be mounting. Here are the clues so far:

1. I go into a chemist to find christmas decorations for sale. I buy one and it is now on my mantle

2. Family are presenting me with Christmas wish lists

3. Christmas crafts for sale at local quilt show

4. Stores are selling Christmas trees

5. Some neighbourhood houses have lights up already

6. I find myself buying new lights to replace the ones the dog chewed

7. I go to a gingerbread house decorating night with Miss E.

8. I bought a Christmas present today.

9. My Christmas app tells me it's 43 sleeps till Christmas

10. I have written Staff Christmas Dinner into my diary

11. And lastly, J tells me she going to the Christmas Pageant in Adelaide tomorrow.

The evidence appears insurmountable. It just might be Christmas in 43 sleeps. I'm going to have to bring myself out of denial.

The next mystery then would be where is my Christmas mojo?? It is definitely AWOL.


On another note. Master B served as a waiter tonight at the Yr12 farewell dinner. In 12 months time it will be his farewell dinner. I picked him up afterwards and he says to me - I don't want Yr 12 to end. I ask why. He says I wont get to see everyone all the time- I'll miss my friends. Reality is sinking in for him. I don't want it to end either. The reality is sinking in for me as well. I think I'll spend the next 12 months quietly crying. Who am I kidding- I'll be howling, kicking and screaming!

Tired, tired, tired...

I've always had a healthy appreciation of single parents. I am a military wife, and that means lots of time on my own with children, doing all the running around and keeping life going for everyone, without any family support because of where we lived. But, I had knowledge that the Major would come home eventually. There was always a light at the end of the tunnel. (Ok, most at times it felt more like a train at the end of the tunnel providing that light.) It is hard, hard work. Thank goodness for good friends.

So, it feels ridiculous to complain about feeling so tired now. Now when my children are so much older and able to do much for themselves. Now that the Major doesn't go away for months at a time, rather just days. Now that I live closer to family.

I know all the lines- you're busy with teenagers, it's just a stage of your life etc etc. But for as far back as I can remember I have felt tired. Not just a bit of a yawn tired, but fatigued to the core.

My 1998 New Year's resolution was to try and develop more stamina.

I am working full time, but so do hundreds of other mums. I have tried to gauge myself against other women and have come to the conclusion that my fatigue levels are not normal. I wake up tired without fail every single day. I cannot remember ever waking up feeling refreshed. By morning tea I feel like I need a nap. All afternoon is spent yawning and trying to function. Some afternoons, like this one, I could hardly drive home without feeling like I was going to nod off.

I suffer from a condition that results in constant pain and my doctor (whom I've only seen twice ever!) says that dealing with that causes fatigue. But I'm not convinced. I've had this problem for way more than half my life, so much so that that is my "normal". Can there be more too it? I would love a magic solution, an answer that could just make it all better. I feel like I am dragging through life and missing out on all it has to offer.

Maybe the answer is more exercise? Supplements? Going to be earlier? Selling the kids? Quitting work? (thats a very tempting option)

Or maybe it is resisting denial and accepting I am getting older and busier and that's life. But I'm not convinced....