Christmas Musings

It feels like I've barely recovered from Christmas last year, and it's Christmas again! Where has that year gone??

I just can't seem to conjure up the Christmas spirit this year. It's just not there at all and I don't even seem to be able to pretend that I have any.

Last year was the first time ever we had woken up in our own home on Christmas day. It was something I had longed for for a very long time.

And I loved it. I loved everything about Christmas.

I loved the atmosphere. I loved the decorations.

I loved the shopping.

I loved the present opening.

I loved the sense of family. I loved the joy it put on people's faces.

But last year something happened. I felt a real shift in my thinking. I can't even quite pinpoint what it was. But I think I know what caused it. It was the excessiveness of Christmas. Was Christmas last year any more excessive than any other? No, I don't think so. But I just didn't feel comfortable about a few things any more. Perhaps it would all blow over.

Last weekend we put up our Christmas tree. I forced myself to do it in the vague hope that it might kick start my inner christmas enthusiasm. But not to be. In reality I spent a grumpy few hours trying to get knots out of the beads that go on the trees. I put christmas carols on to try and get in the mood, but nothing. The stirrings I felt last year were compounding.

I was really trying to put my finger on the problem. I kind of knew, but it was still a little vague in my mind. It just seemed difficult to put into words. Then I saw this photo and it just seemed to sum it up concisely.

It's not that I don't like Christmas anymore. It's just that I think it's time to get back to the reality of what Christmas is really all about. Do I really need that new ornament? No. I mean, what have they got to do with Christmas anyway? Do I really need to feel the pressure to give everyone I know or am vaguely related to a gift? No. Do I really need to ask everyone what they want and then feel extreme sense of guilt if I don't give it to them? No.

So I have made myself some resolutions-

1. Not to buy any Christmas decorations ( except for the one that I bought ages ago before I felt so convicted!)

2.For every dollar we spend this year on Christmas donate fifty cents back to a worthy appeal

3.To try and involve ourselves more in the true meaning of Christmas but giving some time to a charity. This one is a bit harder to organise at this late stage, but I'm hoping something will come together. Stay tuned.

I still love Christmas and I really struggled to put how I was feeling into words. I still love getting together with the family, I still love the joy it puts on people's faces, I still love the decorations, I still love buying and giving gifts.

But I hope in some small way my focus is beginning to change.