It just seems that the year has hardly begun and we are heading to half way through.
It makes me feel old and that I'm not achieving much.
I think it's the irregularity of work at the moment that is contributing to this. One week I may work 4 days, then 1 the next. The uncertainty, the never knowing is starting to wear thin. I don't make plans for my day because I may be called up. Then I don't get called up and I'm at home with no plans. What would I do? I'd take piano lessons again. I do a photography course. I'd have coffee with friends. Or maybe I'd just read.
My current reading pile.
Today, the weather was spectacular for an Autumn day. If only it could be like this all year round. So, cause I had no other plans, I gardened.
For half the day anyway. For the other half I was a taxi. Four trips over to town and back. Exams, appointments. Ok, so one of them may have been unnecessary as I was a week early for a specialist appointment.
Last week I looked for a lounge. May as well fill my days with shopping! Except I'm not earning the money to buy the lounge. Bit of a catch 22 really.
Last Friday I went with a group of ladies from church to a women's conference in Moree. What better way to get to know people than on a road trip. I'm not sure it lived up to my expectations. The girls were lovely, the trip was fun, but the conference was a little flat. And I really didn't need flat.
Although there was one speaker who made me laugh. She was real and honest. She said she used to pray that her husband would die. Did she really just voice one of my own dreams? She's the bishop's wife, so it must be ok then. Not that I really meant it when I dreamt it. Or maybe I did. It was only once...or maybe twice... Years ago, when I was tired of being a defence wife, tired of living away from family, tired of raising three children on my own with a husband away all the time.
Thankfully, God didn't listen to that prayer. And now I feel better about having ever prayed it in the first place.
At least the irregularity of work means that every day is a surprise! Not sure what I'll be doing tomorrow. No plans.
1 comment:
I have just read your year in review. Not sure if I was ever meant to but stumbled across it now that I am in the world of blogging. L, my heart is filled with sadness at some of the reading yet skips a beat with joy and laughter for other parts. I feel so blessed to have a friend like you and although you are in a new chapter in a new but old town (well 18 months into it), distance is only a measurement - it cannot affect a wonderful, insanely funny but beautiful friendship. God's put you there for a reason and a season - take comfort in knowing there is a plan. J. xx
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