So, it feels ridiculous to complain about feeling so tired now. Now when my children are so much older and able to do much for themselves. Now that the Major doesn't go away for months at a time, rather just days. Now that I live closer to family.
I know all the lines- you're busy with teenagers, it's just a stage of your life etc etc. But for as far back as I can remember I have felt tired. Not just a bit of a yawn tired, but fatigued to the core.
My 1998 New Year's resolution was to try and develop more stamina.
I am working full time, but so do hundreds of other mums. I have tried to gauge myself against other women and have come to the conclusion that my fatigue levels are not normal. I wake up tired without fail every single day. I cannot remember ever waking up feeling refreshed. By morning tea I feel like I need a nap. All afternoon is spent yawning and trying to function. Some afternoons, like this one, I could hardly drive home without feeling like I was going to nod off.
I suffer from a condition that results in constant pain and my doctor (whom I've only seen twice ever!) says that dealing with that causes fatigue. But I'm not convinced. I've had this problem for way more than half my life, so much so that that is my "normal". Can there be more too it? I would love a magic solution, an answer that could just make it all better. I feel like I am dragging through life and missing out on all it has to offer.
Maybe the answer is more exercise? Supplements? Going to be earlier? Selling the kids? Quitting work? (thats a very tempting option)
Or maybe it is resisting denial and accepting I am getting older and busier and that's life. But I'm not convinced....