Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.

...Robert Frost...

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

It's that time of the year....

It's that time of the year again. As if I wasn't feeling 'blah' enough, this time of the year makes me feel worse. Three children having their birthday's within three weeks. Nothing to do with the expense and challenge of three cakes (ok, well maybe a little bit), but the acknowledgement that each of them is a year older, a year further away from being my babies, a year closer to leaving home and me, and the realisation that I am getting older as well. I love who they are becoming, but I miss who they were as well. I miss my babies, miss the cuddles, miss the time playing together.

When Mr B my oldest was six weeks old, I had to leave him with a friend for an hour while I went shopping. (I was basically a single mum for the first year of his life due to a work situation)It brought my heart to leave him. Spent half of the hour sitting in the car crying because that was an hour of his life with him I was missing. As I filled in his enrollment papers for pre-school I cried. He was going to be spending his days with someone else.

But time moves on and I must embrace who they are becoming. It began last Saturday with Mr J, the middle child. He turned 14. He's a simple child, completely uncomplicated. He wanted ice cream cake and was happy to celebrate his birthday with three cousins under three that we were babysitting all weekend. The little things in life are important to him and he has a beautiful soul. Unfortunately all photos of his birthday have disappeared off my camera.

5 days later Miss E celebrated her 12th birthday. It was a Thursday, a busy day with Calfit and guitar lessons. Added to this she had her braces put on the day before and she was miserable. Miss E is a unique girl. She has started Highschool and she is changing. Most probably all age related. Hormonal. But we are walking through it as this is only the beginning. She is not a girly girl. Not interested in fashion, not interested in boys or other things most girls her age are into. I am proud that she stays true to herself and pray she continues to do so and not succumb to peer pressure.

Next one in two Saturdays. He'll be 16. Old enough to get his Learner's permit.

I'm sad. But I'm trying to look ahead. It's the natural course of life. It's the way it should be. I'm reminded of what I read on My Life is a Piece of Cake about spending the first part of your life looking ahead, then the next looking back and never actually living in the present. Thanks for the light bulb moment Laura! That's what I'm going to try and do this year. But not until after the next birthday....

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